DR. PAUL HOKEMEYER
Dr. Paul Hokemeyer JD, PhD is based in Los Angeles, New York City, and Telluride, CO where he maintains a private clinical practice. A licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, he is a Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists and a certified Clinical Trauma Professional.
DISCUSSING ADDICTION //
LLNW: Please introduce yourself – what is your name, what do you study, and how are you involved with the study of addiction and/or alcoholism?
Dr. Paul Hokemeyer: I am Dr. Paul Hokemeyer, a marriage and family therapist who specializes in treating people of wealth, power, and celebrity. My research on the unique clinical and cultural needs of elite patient populations has been peer reviewed and published by leading academic, professional, and popular media outlets. I’m also an expert in treating infidelity in relationships. I have an international practice with offices and affiliations in Manhattan, Los Angeles, Telluride, and London.
Have you ever experienced addiction or addictive behaviors yourself?
Yes.
What made you interested in studying addiction?
Prior to becoming an addictions therapist, I worked as an attorney and an activist for human rights and environmental not for profits. I became interested in the field of behavior health after experiencing an existential and psychological crisis in my life in the wake of 9/11. At the time I was living and working in Amsterdam for Greenpeace International, and found myself rattled to the core by the violence and destruction. As a result, I moved back to America where I decided to devote my life to understanding human destruction that is caused at the hands of internal and external forces.
How do YOU define addiction?
Addiction is an insidious form of self-destruction. It’s a force, an energy that ravages the lives of the human beings it touches. It’s also a force that can be stopped with the proper interventions.
What is one thing that you wish you could help addicts understand better?
There is a magnificent solution awaiting you.
"Never, ever give up the fight for a life worth living."
-Dr. Paul Hokemeyer
During the course of your work, do you find that there are common traits amongst addicts?
Yes; people who suffer from addictions feel lost in the world. In spite of their external presentations and accomplishments, at their core they feel hyper vulnerable, lost and alone.
What have you found to be the most surprising information you learned about addiction or addicts themselves?
Human beings who suffer from addictions are incredibly bright and have exceptional intuition. They desperately crave human connection, but are terrified of it.
Have you found any of your theories about addiction to be controversial?
Yes. I specialize in the unique clinical and cultural needs of elite patient populations - people of wealth and celebrity. These are people who exist in the margins of society in positions of power. While my profession does a good job of focusing on minority populations who exist in positions of powerlessness, it hasn’t done a good job of creating ethical and clinically significant spaces to hold and treat people of power. This is why we see so many celebrities and people of wealth continue to be destroyed by the force of their addictions.
Is there any work being done today in the field of psychology concerning treatment for addictions that you find promising?
Yes, I’m fascinated by the field of neuropsychology and what we can do to alter the wiring of our brains.
What do you see as one of the biggest hurdles for addicts to overcome in terms of psychology?
People who suffer from addictions are their own worst enemies. The biggest hurdle they have is being kind and gentle with their selves and getting out of their own way.